image via DailyHaHa

So I told you yesterday that I was on my way to LAX to pick my boy Joe up from his American Airlines flight from Boston. Here’s his story/run in with non other than THE Paris Hilton.

As I settled down in my first class seat at 7:15am to fly from Boston to Los Angeles I was prepared to close my eyes, recline and sleep throughout the 6 hour flight with little or no interruption. Just then I look up and see her: the ex-con, reformed, sex-tape vixen. Paris Hilton boarding the plane, lookinlg disheveled at best. I try to empathize with her, understanding she was out an event last night until 3 am and this is an early flight. We have all been there. Just then she quite audibly she proclaims “I am so F**king wasted”. I look around the cabin and not one head pops up from their moring coffee or Wall Street Journal. Clearly flustered by the lack of attention she is receive she loudly repeats her emotions. This time, clearly annoyed she looks around and exclaims “Everyone here is so old” It is at this moment I look up and make eye contact with her and realize. WOW–she really is a caricature of herself, I want to call Trey Parker and Matt Stone and commend them for the episode they did on her. After several more “I am so F**king wasted” proclmations she finally sits down…behind me!! Her male bodyguard, manager-asks her in the most timid voice i have ever heard from a male to “please be quiet”–she retorts back–”But, i am so tired and wasted” At this point I have placed on my headphones and turned the volume to the max hoping I can drown out her whiny voice, no such luck! As the captain gets on and explains that we are a little delayed because of the snow and need to be de-iced she screams….repeatedly at the overhead speaker to “Shut up! Shut up! Shut Up!” Not even my ipod at full volume could drown out her screams. As the captain gives us the flight details Paris feels the need to kick my seat twice, and again yell at the talking box above her head. After 45 minutes of profanity laced bitching, she at last passes out. The entire cabin in unison looks around at each other and gives that look. You know the look, the one that says “Thank god she passed out, because I was about to beat her senseless. ”

We land in LA, Paris is still asleep and continues to sleep as the we de-plane. I take one last look at her drunken, homely, passed out carcas and I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt as I had never met her. Maybe they are too hard on her, maybe they exaggerate the stories, maybe. But i can tell you all, first-hand. She is miserable, disrespectful, and immature. I even might delete her sex-tape off my computer…maybe.