My boy Robbie is a DJ from Glasgow, is a super proud Scot, a fiercely loyal Rangers follower and has a wicked sense of humor. Robbie is always telling me jokes or forwarding funny shit, and it always makes me smile. Being that today is Monday, I figured I would post a joke Robbie just sent me. Thanks for this one Robbi..

An elderly Scotsman lay dying in his bed.

While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled
the aroma of his favourite biscuits wafting up the stairs. He
gathered
his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.

Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and
with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands,
he crawled
downstairs.

With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing
into the
kitchen.

Were it not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself
already in
heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table
were literally hundreds of his favourite biscuits, freshly baked.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted
Scottish wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world
a happy
man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the
table, kneeling on his knees in crumpled posture. His aged and
withered hand
trembled towards a biscuit at the edge of the table, when it was
suddenly smacked by his wife with a spatula………….


“F* off” she said, “they’re for the funeral