The darkside to the life of spray-on tans, pencil skirts and Jimmy Choo’s is revealed to The Daily Mail.

Image via FortheloveofBlush

WAG Gemma Atkinson’s 2008 Calendar is obviously… ummm, I’m sorry, was I saying something?

From the WTF files - Christian “Chippen” Wilhelmsson has signed a two year deal worth 3.6 Million Euros with Saudi Arabian defending Champions Al Hilal.

The 28 year olds club experience has been crazy, starting with Mjalby and moving to Stabaek, Anderlecht, Nantes, loans to Roma, Bolton and Deportivo La Coruna, Chippen’s been all over the place.

BUT, he’s a damn good winger and a player that should be playing at a much higher level than Al Hilal, no disrespect.

I’m just wondering how his Russian-born Swedish Model Girlfriend, Oksana Andersson is going to sun herself anymore.

Pics after the Jump…

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While she hasn’t had the best week according to all accounts, at least she’s got a smile on her face.

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With the staples removed and fully rested after his 2008 Euro’s disappointment, Chelsea’s Michael Ballack made his way down the isle, marrying longtime partner and mother of his 3 children, German WAG Simone Lambe.

The 31 year old Ballack and 30 year old Lambe wed yesterday in the Knight’s hall of the Bavarian Palace Kempfenhausen.

image via DailyMail

Apparently CRon7 has had enough and is moving on from Nereida Gallardo.  This off season has been full of drama and heavy media speculation, and it looks like this could be the latest bit in the ongoing saga. I’m not particularly suprised by this, as dude is super young and literally has the world at his feet. Besides it sounds like his mama was not a big Nereida fan, and that couldn’t have helped her prospects.

It’s summertime and soccer news is a bit slow right now (aside from the killer SuperClassico last night) before the Olympics, EPL, and the second half of the MLS season crank up….

But, how can you not like the heck out of Frankie Hey Dude? The guy’s attitude is outstanding, he plays several years younger than his age, and there is no one nicer to fans. Becks misses his English pubs, but loves his cars, and picks up new lingo in LA. Is this a new kind of Reebok backpack, a male sports-bra, or Bolton’s new home kit? And if you are solidly in the Bob Bradley/USSF corner these days, you might not want to read this review of the “Bradley Era”. If Ronaldo is a slave, what are the rest of us? And is there really any doubt where Russian assassin Arshavin is going? It could only be one place imo…Chelski, despite what this article says. ManCity looking at Bay Village, OH legend, Brad Friedel.

Speaking of pick-ups, while we wait for Season Two of The Pick-Up Artist, Mystery-inspired “PUA’s” cruise a Skokie, IL shopping mall looking for digits with limited results. Who didn’t cruise the malls back in the day and go home frustrated and play videogames…? Remember that Elliot Spitzer controversy several months ago? Here’s an update on Ashley Dupre. Have you ever seen a girl with such obvious WAG dna? Come on, there’s got to be an MLSer ready to create some drama and start mixing with this one.

Last but not least, I like Pete Doherty but imagine if he started hanging around your work and was sniffing around your attractive and innocent 17 year old daughter….that would be mildly upsetting. I wouldn’t mess the King of Pain though.

FC Uptown

Image via Flickr

Number 11.  The Swedish Wives

A couple of surprises on the list.

FC Uptown

image via Setanta